Monthly Archives: June 2016

Flatland is an Event Horizon

The Reverend Jeff, of Squatcher’s Lounge Fame, suggested that I do a quasi theory on the idea that the event horizon of a black hole is two dimensional, an idea that was initially proposed years ago, but has somehow popped up again in various news feeds of those of us who have gone and liked, as in Facebook “liked”, a number of science related Facebook pages.

After spending a good deal of time yesterday researching the proposed two dimensional flatness of black holes, researched as in Googling the bejesus out of black hole related words and phrases, I have come to the conclusion that the mathematical physicists doing the research mean one thing by two dimensional, and the people writing the articles popping up in news feeds mean another.

What I mean is that black holes are, in point of fact, spherical. They are not flat, as such. The two dimensional surface being discussed is the flat surface of a sphere, which is flat only if you are a flat being living on the surface of the sphere and can’t look up, but only sideways along the plane of the sphere.

Of course there aren’t any beings, as such, living on the surface of a black hole, because a black hole has no surface, as such. It has what they euphemistically call an event horizon. Matter, light, what have you, disappears almost utterly when it passes the event horizon, giving a last gasp of breath, or maybe sort of a fart, known as Hawking radiation, named after Steven Hawking.

I know that if I were being crushed by a black hole, I’d be hawking up everything, too, so the name is quite appropriate.

Hawking radiation is defined as a virtual particle. A virtual particle is neither here nor there. A Hawking radiation virtual particle only gets to here, or there, if it gets to escape the event horizon. If it does that, it becomes the radiation that lets us detect the black hole. Apparently a lot of these virtual particles escape black holes and head our way because we have detected black holes. This seems like circular reasoning to me, but that’s mathematical physics for you. Neither here nor there, much like Schrodinger’s cat, who is neither dead or alive until you open the door of the box the cat lives in.

I refuse to explain Schrodinger’s cat, but I have often wondered if Schrodinger put a litter box in with his cat.

First shared on the Squatcher’s Lounge Podcast:
Bigfoot captured stalking girl in Tatra Mountains – SLP4-19

More About Astral Hells

Because my theory concerning the afterlife possibilities for money grubbing televangelists and similar hucksters went over so well last week, this week I’ll list some of the astral hells the Buddhists believe in. I have swiped most of the list from Wikipedia’s entry on Buddhist hells, so there’s your necessary attribution. Wikipedia swiped it from various other sources, so what the hell, here goes.

The primary source is the Dīrghāgama, a Buddhist sutra, from the “Chapter on Hell”, within that sutra.

The generic Hindu and Buddhist name for hell is naraka, which means hells. The Hindu hells all have individual names and tortures which vary from sect to sect, but they’re pretty much like the Buddhist ones.

The first major Buddhist hell is called Thoughts. The second is called Black Rope. The third is called Crushing. The fourth is called Moaning. The fifth is called Great Moaning. The sixth is called Burning. The seventh is called Great Burning. The eighth is called Unremitting.

The Hell of Thoughts itself contains sixteen smaller hells. The smaller hells are 500 square yojana in area, or a little over 500 square miles. The first small hell is called Black Sand. The second small hell is called Boiling Excrement. The third is called Five Hundred Nails. The fourth is called Hunger. The fifth is called Thirst. The sixth is called Single Copper Cauldron. The seventh is called Many Copper Cauldrons. The eighth is called Stone Pestle. The ninth is called Pus and Blood. The tenth is called Measuring Fire. The eleventh is called Ash River. The twelfth is called Iron Pellets. The thirteenth is called Axes and Hatchets. The fourteenth is called Jackals and Wolves. The fifteenth is called Sword Cuts. The sixteenth is called Cold and Ice.

The names of these hells are pretty descriptive. I leave it to your imagination to further illustrate what goes on in them. Remember, these sixteen are just the sub list of hells in the Hell of Thoughts. The other seven hells have their own sub hells, too. But, since Wikipedia didn’t quote the Dīrghāgama on them, I won’t either.

Most of the sinning I do is bad thoughts, which is true of most humans as well. There just aren’t enough hours in a day to put all our thoughts into deeds.

Originally presented on The Squatchers Lounge Podcast:

Hucksters and Hell

A friend of mine sent an email to me with a video for me to watch and comment on. The video is of an investigative reporter examining the lifestyles of televangelists, Christian televangelists, to be precise. If any of you out there are fans of televangelists, well then consider the rest of this to be what I think to be the fate of whatever huckster lives a very large and lavish lifestyle by conning poor folks out of their money. On the other hand, the following somewhat continues on my last theory, offered several weeks ago, concerning twelve spheres and the influence of them on our lives, only with a different set of spheres and no geometry.

While I do not believe in any thing like eternal damnation, I am quite sure there are what the Hindus and Buddhists call astral hells, where particularly bad people can spend time after shuffling off this mortal coil. What a pleasant Shakespearean metaphor for kicking the bucket!

The astral world, which in Sanskrit is called “anda”and means sphere, is a higher order sphere than our earth. It is where our lower emotions and desires originate. There’s way more to the astral world than that, but that’s all you need to know for now. That it is a real thing is illustrated, I believe, by all those itsy-bitsy particles experimental nuclear physicists detect popping out of nowhere and then popping back to nowhere. They’re popping in and out of the astral plane.

When stripped of the physical body at death, the conscious attention of your self moves into your astral body. You are technically always in your astral body, but your attention is focused in your physical body. The physical body actually dampens down the intensity of our desires and emotions. Those who are consumed by lust for physical things, money, food, sex, or what have you, build up an immense sort of force, that then burns in them intensely when they pass over, because they are unable to satisfy these physical passions. The force eventually exhausts itself and they move upwards, to a yet somewhat higher sphere, until they reincarnate.

Hopefully the experience of burning in an astral hell purifies the hucksters enough that they won’t pull the same bullshit in their next life. They will, of course, owe great wads of compensatory karma to all those they duped. They won’t remember what they did here, or what happened when they died, but the sort of seed impressions of it remain with their spirit.

The general structure of a reincarnating being is: body, soul, and spirit, or sarke, psyche, and pneuma, in Greek. That’s pneuma as in pneumatic or pneumonia. You die from the body, then die from the soul, but the karmic impressions are remembered or stored in the pneuma or spirit. When you reincarnate, a new psyche or soul is made, which then receives a new sarke, or physical body, so you don’t normally remember past lives. New soul and body combos are made based on your previous screw ups and/or good deeds, as per the spec sheet for your new incarnation, the specifications whereof are worked out between you and the Norns, the three goddesses who wove threads of fate for the old Norse peoples, the three Morai, the weaver goddesses of ancient Greece, who wove the cloth of your destiny, or the karma devas of Hinduism, who do pretty much the same thing.

Once again, it’s that simple.

Originally presented on The Squatchers Lounge Podcast:


For the reading impaired, an audio version of this quasi theory may be found here: