Monthly Archives: May 2017

The Woo Hypothesis

There has been a lot of discussion, off and on, more on than off lately, about Sasquatch and portals, Sasquatch and cloaking, and Sasquatch associated with other paranormal phenomena. Many of us in the Bigfoot community are using the term “woo”, when discussing this sort thing.

Now, I am, by my nature, not argumentative. I always assume, as a working hypothesis, that people who have observed, and reported, Sasquatch engaging in paranormal activities, or woo, are not lying about their observations, until proven otherwise.

Allow me to interject here that I think that there are almost certainly several species of unidentified, upright walking apes, related to all us other apes, running about the planet.

I will now present my hypothesis concerning areas where Sasquatch have been exhibiting “woo”. The hypothesis is: these places have a bad case of the fairies.

Yes, fairies, beings like the sylphs, naiads, and dryads of Greek mythology, the lower order devas of Hinduism, or the Djinn of Arabia. Sometimes, these days, they are called nature spirits. The Celts called them the Good Folk, the Gentry, the sidhe, as in the bann sidhe and pict sidhe. Or, more specifically in this case, pookas, the shape shifting fairy of Irish legend. Pookas lead people astray, as is illustrated in the stage play Harvey.

Elwood P. Dowd, the lead character in Harvey, is led astray from his successful career in the world of banking after he encounters Harvey, a six foot three and a half inch tall upright walking rabbit. Harvey talks Elwood into leaving banking and, instead, spending his day socializing with the lower classes in a local bar. Certain recent revelations, coming from the woo side of Bigfootery, suggest that American pookas are practicing their guile on this continent right now.

Every older culture, all over the world, has stories about non-physical entities that can delude humans and, sometimes, manifest a see-able form, make audible noises, produce smell-able odors, induce emotions in the observer, and generally make things go bump in the night.

John Keel proposed that such entities are hostile to humans and come from some other dimension, with naughty intentions. I think they are perfectly natural entities that occasionally like to flabbergast us. The form they assume is taken from our minds and the current surrounding culture, as are their actions. Which is why much of what they do is inexplicable.

I, personally, have occasionally run into some of these buggers, a subject which I have elaborated upon in other quasi-theories.

Now, where do these creatures come from? I think they come from wherever sub-atomic particles pop out from and disappear back to, where photons that are quantum entangled talk to each other. They come from a higher order Riemannian phase space, of which our world is a multiply connected subset, in other words, the Astral plane.

That said, any of these beings that have time to waste dorking about with us humans are of a low order and not very bright. Some of them are quite territorial and radiate anger and hostility. I chased one around in a basement of an old house once. They back off when confronted.

They don’t do portals, as such, but they can sure make you see one, along with demons, guardian ewoks, appear as mind speaking Forest People, or what have you.

So, in conclusion, if the Bigfoot you are seeing comes from a portal, that ain’t a Bigfoot, it’s a bloody fairy!

First shared on the Squatcher’s Lounge Podcast:

For the reading impaired, an audio version of this quasi theory may be found here:

 

 

 

 

May Day, May Day

Who all celebrates May Day? Well, socialist and communists for starters. They commemorate what is known as the Haymarket Massacre, or Riot, and/or also Affair, which started out as a worker’s parade protesting the killing of workers striking for an eight hour work day, by the Chicago police, on May 3rd, 1886, the day before the riot. An anarchist threw a stick of dynamite at the police, who were breaking up the protest, killing seven officers. The remaining officers then opened fire on the protesters, killing 4 and wounding dozens more.

But that’s not what this quasi is about.

This quasi is about a pole with a knob on the end, the May Pole. It is about young maidens dancing in circles around the pole, festooning it with ribbons, starting with the knob at the top of the erect pole and ending at the bottom. It is about the Greek goddess, Chloris, after whom chlorophyll is named, and her Roman equivalent, Flora, after whom flowers are named. She’s the goddess of flowers and spring, and her festival ran from April 28th to May 3rd, and was called the Floralia.

The Floralia was celebrated with, to quote Wikipedia, “…five days of farces and mimes were enacted – ithyphallic, and including nudity when called for…”.

Ithyphallic, now there’s a word for you. Ithyphallic farces and mimes, farces and mimes enacted with phallic symbols, that is to say, enacted with poles with knobs on the end.

Later, in the year 870 of the common era, on May 1st, Pope Adrian II, in the common mode of Christian practice, scarfed up this joyful spring fertility festival from the pagans, and canonized an otherwise obscure English missionary nun. Her name was Walpurga, and Adrian made May 1st her day.

St. Walpurga… now why does that sound familiar? Let’s see, St. Walpurga’s day must be preceded by St. Walpurga’s eve, of course. Aha! Walpurgis night! One of the major nights that witches worship Satan! It’s also the Celtic Eve of Beltane. Beltane, one of the most holy days in the Druidic year! Anything pre-Christian had to be the devil’s work, so holy it up by reworking it into a Christian holiday.

But be sure to retain the pagan symbols, such as poles with knobs on the end.