So, two comets are visible in the night sky this past week. This occurrence has resulted in an over stimulation of the residual gray matter left in the skulls of Zecharia Sitchin fans. These poor souls believe that ancient aliens roamed our planet early in human history, mucking about with our DNA, building pyramids for us, and generally edumacating us in all skills useful in becoming civilized.

I have seen any number of posts, sharings, news alerts, and what have you, declaring that a Hopi tribal prophecy says that when two comets appear in the sky at the same time, the planet Niburu will begin its return to the inner solar system, Niburu being the twelfth planet that Sitchin declared to be the home planet of our alien masters. The Annunaki will thenceforth wreak havoc upon us.

It is well known that Sitchin pulled his theory out of his butt. It is also known that the Hopi’s knew nothing of a twelfth planet, let alone one named Niburu.

Which brings me to the whole Niburu being the home planet of the Annunaki aliens concept.

Niburu is an ancient Sumerian word. It is one of the many names of the Sumerian sun god, Marduk. Sun god, as in the god of the sun. Not the god of an unknown planet out there in the Kuiper belt, but the sun around which earth orbits, you know, that big bright shiny thingy up in the sky that causes what we scientists call day time.

The Annunaki are the Sumerian pantheon of gods, of whom Nibiru was one. Annunaki is a compound word. Anu is the god of the heavens. Ki is the goddess of the earth. The Annunaki are, collectively, the gods of heaven and earth. The Sumero-Babylonian mythology is essential the same as the mythology of the Egyptians, Greeks, and Celts, and it is very comparable to Hindu and Zoroastrian mythology. None of these ancient peoples thought of their gods as physical beings, alien or not.

As the great mythologist, Joseph Campbell wrote:

“Fortunately, it will not be necessary to argue that Greek, Celtic or Germanic myths were mythological. The peoples themselves knew they were myths…”

Sitchin, von Daniken, and all their ancient alien silliness, is becoming a sort of modern mythology. The difference between now and way back then, is that the ancient mythologies actual make sense, when you know how to understand them. And they are to be understood as myths. The ancient gods had no interest in anal probes, and they needed no saucers to fly about in.

This has been Dean Cooper, quasi-scientist, enlightening you with my quasi-theory of the week.

Originally presented on The Squatchers Lounge Podcast