A Yuletide Rant

So, Yuletide. Yuletide means the time of the Yule. It’s the celebration of the winter solstice, usually lasting about twelve days, with the Solstice in the middle of it, although it was as long as two months, going from late November and ending in early January, with some peoples. Yule is largely a Germanic holiday.

The word Yule is the modern English version of an old Germanic word, géol. That’s “g with a dot over it, “e” with a slanty apostrophe over it, “o” and “l”, géol. Old Germanic, as an etymological term, includes all the Nordic languages, as well as the Anglo-Saxon Ones.

So, Yuletide. Last time I explained how the Christians slipped old Saint Nick in on us, while slipping a mickey to Odin. I also explained why December 25th became the date the winter solstice was typically associated with. Now, why would they want to distract us from a pagan god? Any hardcore Christians out there may want to plug your ears and sing “O Holy Night”, or something else Christmassy, about now. You may not like what’s next.

It turns out that there are pagan sons of gods, that were also born on the winter solstice, all of them before Jesus, most of them virgin births, as well.

The reason we use the 25th to celebrate the winter solstice now, is because it was the official Roman birth date of Solis Invictus, the conquering sun. The emperor Marcus Aurelius made the Persian version of Solis Invictus, Mithras, an official part of the pantheon. The day was called “Dies Natalis Solis Invicti”, “Day of the Birth of the Conquering Sun”. Now that has a ring to it. Dies Natalis Solis Invicti! So much for Christmas.

Let’s us list some of the other virgin birth sun gods with the same birthday.

First is the Egyptian Horus, of course. Son of Isis, the eternal virgin, whose father was Osiris. He may be the oldest version; version, not virgin. Osiris had the same birthday as Horus, oddly enough.

Then there’s Attis, Serapis, Heracles, a.k.a Hercules, Tammuz, Adonis, Apollo, Perseus, Jupiter, which is to say Zeus Pater, Father Zeus, Helios, and my favorite, Bacchus-Dionysos, Dionysius in Latin. There’s lots more, but I shan’t go on.

Most of these guys also have a worship ritual involving bread and wine: a ritual of communion, wherein the bread and wine symbolized the blood and body of the god. One communed with the god by consuming the sanctified fruit of the vine and wheat of the field, the which fact may be worthy of a Quasi of it’s own.

Most of these buggers also died at the spring equinox. Jesus probably originally did, too. Easter Sunday, is after all, always on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the first day of spring. Easter, the name of which derives from the old Germanic Oestre, the spring goddess of fertility. Oestre, Ishtar, Isis, always virginal, always giving virgin birth to the sons of god at Yuletide. You Christians may now unplug your ears and stop with the singing.

First shared on the Squatcher’s Lounge Podcast:

An audio version of this quasi theory may be found here:

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