There’s a lot of questions I have about almost anything, so I decided I should list some for you. Some are of great relevance to everyone, some have only relevance to a few, some have relevance only to me, and some have absolutely no real relevance to much of anyone, or anything.
I will make no attempt to provide any answers to any of these questions. Indeed, many, if not most of them have no answer. I list them in the order they pop into my head while writing this and, as of this moment, I have not thought of any questions to list. So here goes.
1. Why does a washing machine turn some clothes inside out and not others? Tonight, for example, it turned all my tee shirts inside out. It’s never done that before. That leads me to question number
2. Why does a clothes dryer turn some clothes inside out and not others? Which leads me to number
3. Why does a dryer seem to never turn the clothes that the washing machine turned inside out back to right side out?
4. If fundamentalist Christians are right, and the earth was made in six days, starting on October 23rd, 4004BC, according to Bishop Ussher, why did God make all those fossils, which when dated using the decay rate of various radioactive elements, date back millions of years?
5. Was God just trying to snooker mankind? Maybe trying to test those who believe in the scientific method, the which method has gotten us things like the internet and indoor plumbing?
6. Who was the hardy soul that first ate an oyster? I mean, have you looked closely at a naked, shell-less oyster? They look, and taste, like a gob of particularly lumpy snot. And that person convinced other people to eat them, too.
7. What does that say about the general gullibility of mankind? I have no answer, but ask you to recall question number four.
8. If theoretical physicists are correct, and time does not really exist, why do I remember yesterday and not tomorrow?
9. If three dimensional space is equally illusory, why am I here and not over there somewhere? There’s lots of over there’s where I’d rather be, but here I am.
10. If ancient theories about solar eclipses are right, and a big invisible sky dragon eats the sun, doesn’t that mean that the sun, when it reappears, is now dragon poop?
Which leads me to the last question, perhaps the most important one, for which I have no answer, why are you people listening to me?
First shared on the Squatcher’s Lounge Podcast:
For the reading impaired, an audio version of this quasi theory may be found here: