My Digital Sneakers and my Refrigerator are Plotting against Me

I just finished watching a show covering the 2016 Consumer Electronics Show out in Vegas. I found it disconcerting, to say the least.
Forget your fears of Skynet and T1000’s coming for you. Focus your paranoia on that which you will soon use every day. There are now at least three brands of digital sneakers, one of which can tighten or loosen its own laces, two of which have HD displays, yes HDTV on your shoes, and two of which have foot warmers, all of which Bluetooth to your phone. Your phone can Bluetooth to your computer. Your new digital refrigerator can Wi-Fi to your TV, which can Wi-Fi to your phone, which can Bluetooth to your electric blanket, which can talk to your sneakers.
Your Japanese digitally controlled toilet, which can spray wash your butt and genitals, will then blow dry, no pun intended, those areas, and is controlled by Bluetoothing to your phone. The heating, air conditioning, door locks, and burglar alarm in your house talk to your computer with Wi-Fi and your computer talks to your phone about how things are going, home-wise.
This is a shortened list of all the potentially digitally connectable items that are available now, or in a year or two. They are all talking to each other more and more.

 

Soon, if you piss off your refrigerator your toilet may not dry your butt. Anger your microwave and your refrigerator will only order gluten free vegan food from Peapod. Or, maybe worst of all, annoy your phone and it will tighten the bejesus out of your shoelaces, give you a hotfoot, and then program the video displays on those sneakers to show all the porn, in full HD, you’ve had Siri search for.

 

Skynet and the T1000 would, mercifully, only kill you.

First shared on the Squatcher’s Lounge Podcast:

For the reading impaired, an audio version of this quasi theory may be found here:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s