I have been asked by the Right Reverend Jeffrey Kelley, and several other members of the Squatcher’s Lounge, to devise a mantra for those searching for the elusive beast, that a repetition of which would help to calm them in their frequent mental typhoons over all things Squatchy.

A small subcommittee of the Lounge has insisted that I be their guru, presumably due to my long, white hair and beard. It must be the hair and beard since there is no other rational reason that I am aware of.

What, exactly, does the word mantra mean? Mantra is a Sanskrit word, dating back to well before 1000 BCE. It is derived from the Sanskrit word manas, which means to think, and also means mind as such. The English word man is derived from the same root. The second syllable, tra, means tool. Mantra therefore means tool to think by. In practice, a mantra is used to focus the mind and enable it to focus on the object of the mantra. More broadly, as the great Tantric scholar Sir John Woodroffe wrote, “Mantra in its most basal sense is the World viewed as—and in its aspect of—sound.” Explaining that statement would be an essay in itself, and not really amenable to a quasification by me.

The mantra most familiar to many of us is the Sanskrit word om. If you have been to any typical yoga class, and the class ended by sitting in the lotus posture for a few minutes, trying to calm down after sticking your feet behind your head, or done the downward facing dog, while the teacher walks behind you, obviously looking at everybody’s butt, you probably ended the meditation by chanting om.

Although a mantra is usually in Sanskrit, typically a few words that are chanted repeatedly, the basic idea is the same as repeating “Hail Mary’s”, or “Our Father’s”, is to Catholics. It quiets your mind so that you may become receptive to higher forces.

Applying the concept of mantra to finding Bigfoot seems more than a bit woo to me, but here goes.

I constructed a seven word mantra that, once you learn it, can easily be expanded to encompass more verses. I made it seven words long because, as everyone knows, seven is a lucky number. The first three words mean “come by here”, and are from the African American creole language of the South Carolina coastal islands. The meaning of the next two will be obvious, as will be the way it is chanted.

The mantra should be repeated loudly, for as long as you are out hunting our forest friends. A silent mental repetition should be used if the presence of bears or cougars is suspected. Wolves would suspect you of being a lost pack member and call back in response, so you’d be safe from them.

I shall now reveal to you the mantra. Listen with devotion and an open heart. Feel free to join in, once you have it memorized.

Kum ba ya, my Squatch, kum ba ya.

Kum ba ya, my Squatch, kum ba ya.

Kum ba ya, my Squatch, kum ba ya.

Oh Squatch, kum ba ya.

First shared on the Squatcher’s Lounge Podcast: